De Grappigste Website!

Home / Leuke moppen / Engelse Moppen


Bezoek de moppen pagina voor de leukste moppen! >

Engelse Moppen

Op deze pagina staan 10 Engelse Moppen. De moppen staan op volgorde van stemmen, de beste Engelse Moppen eerst.

Why is six affraid for seven?
Because seven eight nine.
(de uitspraak)

Good Bad

I have a girlfriend her name is Grace she broke my heart I broke her FACE

Good Bad

The story of the horse, the chicken and the BMW!
There was a chicken and a horse playing together in a barn yard, suddenly the horse falls into a mud pit.
He yells to the chicken, "Go get the farmer, save me, save me!"
The chicken goes looking for the farmer but can't find him.
So he gets the farmer's BMW and drives it over to the mud pit, lassos the horse, ties it to the car and pulls him out.
The horse says, "Thank you, Thank you, I owe you my life..."
Then a couple days later they are playing there again and this time the chicken falls into the mud pit and the chicken says, "Help me.
Help me!
Go get the farmer!"
So the horse says, "No No, No, I think I can get you."
The horse stretches across the mud pit and tells the chicken, "Grab onto my dick."
The chicken grabs on, the horse stretches back, and the horse saves the chickens life.
So what's the moral of the story ?
If you have a dick the size of a horse, then you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks !"

Good Bad

A blond girl walks into a ice cream store.
She walks up to the counter and asks the guy behind the counter.
Can I please have a Gallon of vanilla ice cream, a gallon of strawberry icecream and a gallon of chocolate ice cream.
The guy says.
I am sorry mam, but whe ran out of chocolate ice cream.
Oh, she says.
Please than do me a Quater of vanilla ice cream, a Quater of strawberry ice cream and a Quarter of chocolate ice cream.
The guy says, I am sorry mam but whe ran out of chocolate ice cream.
Ohh the blond girl says.
Than do me a pint of vanilla ice cream, a pint of strawberry ice cream and a pint of chocolate ice cream.
The guy thinks, she must be fucking stupid.
He asks her, can you do me a favor.
Please spell the van in vanilla.
Sure she says.
V.
A.
N.
Ok, the guy says.
What about the straw in strawberry.
S.
T.
R.
A.
W.
she says.
You are right, he says.
And now the Fuck in chocolate.
She thinks and thinks and than she says: There is no fuckin chocolate.
He says, thats what I mean!

Good Bad

Er is een italiaanse familie naar amerika ge-emigreerd.
na aankomst zegt de moeder tegen haar dochter: Go outside, finde husbande, make love and get married.
De dochter komt thuis met een man en vraagt raad aan haar moeder: Go upstairse, make love and get married.
Een moment later komt de dochter naar beneden: Mama, mama, this man gotte big haire on his cheste.
Moeder zegt: Don't matter go upstairs, make love and gette married.
Later komt ze weer terug en zegt: Mama, mama, This man gotte big haire between his legs.
Moeder zegt: Don't matter go upstairs, make love and gette married.
Later komt ze weer terug: Mama,mama, This man got a really big thing between his legs.
Zegt de moeder: STAY HERE, THAT'S FOR THE MAMA.

Good Bad

Overheard by United Airlines Pilot on landing at Frankfurt Airport: NOTE: Britiah Airways planes are known as Speedbird on the airwaves......
Speedbird: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206, clear of the active."
Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate."
The BA 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.
Ground (brusquely): "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird: "Standby ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."
Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird (coolly): "Yes, several times in 1944, but I didn't stop"

Good Bad

Engelsman vraagt aan een Chinees;
"How many times do you have elections"?
Zegt de Chinees;
"Evely morning!

Good Bad

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident;
it's a bad one.
Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man;
that's interesting.
I'm a woman.
Wow, just look at our cars!
There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"
"This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.
My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No.I think I'll just wait for the police...

Good Bad

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God, she asked if this was it.
God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it.
She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years?"
God replied,"I didn't recognize you."

Good Bad

Twee Helmonders besluiten samen een weekend naar Londen te gaan.
Even er tussenuit.
Ze overnachten het hele weekend bij een hospita.
Na de eerste dag rondgebanjerd te hebben in de binnenstad besluiten ze naar hun logeeradres te gaan om te gaan slapen.
Wanneer ze de volgende ochtend wakker worden besluit de ene Helmonder naar beneden te gaan om te vragen wat ze voor ontbijt krijgen.
De Helmonder gaat naar beneden en zegt in z'n beste Engels: "Goed murning, wot doe joe hev for brekfest".
Waarop de hospita resoluut zegt: "Ham and eggs".
De Helmonder gaat weer naar boven.
Zegt de andere Helmonder: "Warum kekte zo bedruufd?"
De ene weer: "Ze hebben neks."

Good Bad
 


Pagina's:
(1) 2

Rubrieken:
Advocaten Ajax Bejaarden Belgen Blondje Boeren Cafe Computer Dieren Dokter Droge Duitsers Engelse Feyenoord Flauwe Geloof Goeie Grappige Grove Harde Homo Jantje Kerstmis Kinder Mannen Nederlanders Pastoor Politiek School Sinterklaas Slechte Sterren Raadsels Relatie Vieze Voor volwassenen Vrouwen


Bezoek de moppen pagina voor de leukste moppen! >

luek

Grappige plaatjes

Dit zijn willekeurige grappige plaatjes. Klik op een plaatje om de grote versie te bekijken.

Leuke moppen

Dit zijn 10 leuke moppen. Klik op de tekst op de hele mop te lezen.

Leuke Raadsels

Dit zijn 10 leuke raadsels. Klik op de tekst op het hele raadsel te lezen.

Optische illusies

Dit zijn willekeurige optische illusies. Klik op een plaatje om de grote versie te bekijken.

Leuke moppen

Dit zijn de top 10 beste leuke moppen. Klik op de tekst om de hele mop te lezen.

Leuke Raadsels

Dit zijn de top 10 beste leuke raadsels. Klik op de tekst om het hele raadsel te lezen.

Leuke Spreuken

Dit zijn de top 10 beste leuke spreuken. Klik op de tekst om de hele spreuk te lezen.
Elke dag een mop in je mailbox?
Wordt lid van de luek.nl moppen mail:

E-mail adres:

Naam:


Leuke woordgrappen Leuke limericks Spaans leren Leuke teksten Leuke raadsels Leuke moppen Sms teksten Fun poll Dress up game Leuk! of niet? Tekst weirdmaker Emoticons & avatars Glitter plaatjes